oomshi:

when my fridge is empty so is my heart

146,806 notes

waaaahlbodayz:

short-bread:

[x]

Stephen fry. Stop it.

You are clearly being too smart. You are not of this Earth.

(Source: cfergusons)

88,640 notes

toadelevatingmoment:

But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle, it’s all over. Germany, having trounced England’s famous midfield trio of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final, have been beaten by the odd goal.

193,027 notes

collegehumor:

Why Don’t You Take a Seat?
No thanks, I know a scam/pedophile sting when I see one.

collegehumor:

Why Don’t You Take a Seat?

No thanks, I know a scam/pedophile sting when I see one.

1,160 notes

Old Spice has the best commercials. (x)

(Source: inthelightinthesound)

726,162 notes

wholockedmeoutoftheimpala:

stopstealingmythoughts:

pau1y:

what if 911 called you

hello, this is 911. you have an emergency, i can sense it.

hello, this is 911. we have dispatched the fire department to your current location because you are smoking hot.

hello, this is 911. the police are on their way to arrest you because it is a crime to be that sexy.

hello, this is 911. we have an ambulance coming to pick us up because our hearts stopped when we saw you.

691,585 notes